Saturday, October 6, 2012
You stepped right into Winnipeg and changed the landscape. I should've known you are capable of doing this, and I should have known that you would never lose that capability to run your hand over mountains and turn them into plains, and do the reverse to the prairies. Winnipeg is full of flatlands - plain, solid, green grounds where herds of different kinds graze on. You turned these things into what they aren't, and then let them take shape, and fly. I should've known once I met you, that you are capable of turning one more thing into something else - the person writing this.
YOU found me by chance, or what was written, or maybe since we're human we call what is written that "chance", because other words are too big to understand. You found me at the intersection of when you were thinking to click on my name, write on my wall, leave an imprint, and wait till I find it. I was at the cafe somewhere in that intersection, reading, a little too consumed, until I looked up and found that imprint. I should've known you could change me just by cranking up those traffic lights in a weird fashion and I got a little caught up in my throat, not knowing if green meant "go", and read meant "stop", and amber meant "wait a while". I decided that they all were on green...but that lump in my throat made it all amber (and I guess this is my excuse for Formspring).
It's just I could never picture those lights red. Only your hair. And then I knew I needed to let go of the ordinary, because I was looking up at someone extraordinarily beautiful...and for once, looking away from my book at that time, felt like such a wonderful decision. It's when I paused reading to start writing, again.
Look at what you came here for. You touched everything beautiful when you came around. Day one, I met the girl with the crimson hair who thinks about the silliest things, and sometimes talks funny, but she talks straight to my heart. And then you think to yourself that you think sometimes you know someone by a touch, the scent of her skin after bath or after a long day, her lips on yours, that feeling right on her neck when you fall asleep with your head right there (and how this part is just not the same as any other on her body), her hand locked in yours, her breath cascading down your ear lobe and next thing you know you're surrounded by each inhale and exhale - but when you don't have all these, you realize you know someone when the thought of her never escapes you (now you know, you cannot escape her), when you can be a free person without her sight but you choose to keep her eyes steady on you in blind-sightedness (no matter how much of an oxymoron it is) because you love her enough to be her own eyes, when she smiles back at you and the world you have turns into water, and you send your own waves crashing to wet your own feet while you're walking on the shore with her - and she tries to thank you for a beautiful walk that night on the beach, and you remind her that it's because of her and her smile (not because of you).
And then you start building your house near that shore so you two could walk down the shoreline each morning and night. No, you've never had this with her before, but when she smiles back at you - it's this beautiful.
You know her when you've come across the beautiful in her, and then you stumble to find the flaws sticking out somewhere in the sand - and decide that this is still your ocean, a few paces away is still the house you built for you and her, and it's still the same shoreline with the same waves crashing that dance between your toes - and then your heart is full.
One more thing about Winnipeg (or Manitoba in particular), we haven't got oceans here - just lakes. But I know the oceans I've been on enough to remember how they feel. I know when someone's an ocean in my life, and I know that depth. I should have known you're capable of stepping right onto Winnipeg and permanently marking shorelines everywhere in my life to remind me that each space is our ocean.
Sink or swim, this is BEAUTIFUL. YOU are beautiful, and this is just one way of me reminding you that YOU, for me, TRULY are.
Let's walk down the shore tonight, after work? Please, and thank you.
In love with you,
N.
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